Sean Hood speaks on Conan’s lukewarm box office returns

Sean Hood has a very frank discussion on his Quora page in regards to the underwhelming weekend takings for Conan:

You make light of it, of course. You joke and shrug. But the blow to your ego and reputation can’t be brushed off. Reviewers, even when they were positive, mocked Conan The Barbarian for its lack of story, lack of characterization, and lack of wit. This doesn’t speak well of the screenwriting – and any filmmaker who tells you s/he “doesn’t read reviews” just doesn’t want to admit how much they sting.

Unfortunately, the work I do as a script doctor is hard to defend if the movie flops. I know that those who have read my Conan shooting script agree that much of the work I did on story and character never made it to screen. I myself know that given the difficulties of rewriting a script in the middle of production, I made vast improvements on the draft that came before me. But its still much like doing great work on a losing campaign. All anyone in the general public knows, all anyone in the industry remembers, is the flop. A loss is a loss.

This ended up on Deadline Hollywood, and led to some interpreting his mention of “making vast improvementsas throwing Donnelly & Oppenheimer under the bus, so to speak. Still others felt he was trying to blame everyone but himself, much like I’d been of Avi Lerner and Joe Drake. However, Sean himself commented at the site, and wanted to assure readers that this was not his intention:

Actually my words “I made vast improvements on the draft that came before me” weren’t very classy because it does sound like I’m throwing the previous writers under the bus, and I need to publicly apologize to Thomas Dean Donnelly, Joshua Oppenheimer, and Andrew Lobel. All I can say is that I didn’t mean it that way and I should have chosen my words more carefully.

What I meant to say that I was proud of the work I did solving problems that that had emerged in the development process, over many years and dozens of drafts. To suggest that I did better work than the writers before me would be both un-classy and flat out incorrect.

Many people have read Thomas Dean Donnelly and Joshua Oppenheimer’s early drafts of Conan when it showed up on the internet, and a great, great number of them think theirs was the best draft of any, including the shooting script. Andrew Lobel’s draft was filled with great humor, which some critics thought the movie lacked.

I didn’t write this to point fingers. As the last writer on the project, the criticism of the story, dialogue, and characterization should fall primarily on me… not my peers, not producers, not studio executives, not the director.

The offending line has been taken from the Quora page, but I’m going to address it all the same.

Editorial

Given that I’ve been following this project for two years, and that I’ve read nearly every iteration of the script, I feel I’m fairly qualified to speak upon the evolution of the film’s story over the past two years.

From this point, I can say that, yes, Sean Hood did improve upon the earlier scripts by a substantial margin, and even though not nearly enough of the script made it to the screen, he did make a clear improvement over the previous drafts, from my point of view. I may have been incredibly harsh on the film, but compared to what could have been if Hood wasn’t brought on board to filter out the dross, it could’ve been worse. I’m talking Uwe Boll-level, and it truly isn’t quite at that echelon. For all my disdain for the film’s direction, editing, story and acting, I stand by my praise of the digital sets, the locations, and Jason Momoa. If this film was anything like the earlier drafts, I don’t think I would be able to do that.

I’m also going to take this opportunity to offer my sincere apologies to Thomas Dean Donnelly and Joshua Oppenheimer. I read their scripts and hated them back in 2009, and still do, but I blamed them personally for the decisions that were made. I accused them of having no understanding of Howard’s character, writing or depth, and felt that all the problems of the project came down to them. After all, it was in their draft that we saw the Cimmerians wiped out by their own dogs turning against them, Corin’s ghost haunting the tormented Conan, and Khalar Singh using the Ceti Eels to get information. Yet as I started to learn more about the production process, I started to understand just how many factors were involved in making this story, how many different cooks were tossing their seasons in the broth, budgetary and logistical concerns overriding creative and logical ones. In effect, I came to the conclusion that Donnelly & Oppenheimer were as hamstrung as Sean Hood was: they were given the locations, props and settings available courtesy of Nu Boyana, given tons of ideas from Nispel (and no doubt also Rattner when he was still in talks) and the producers, and told to write a story from there. Not exactly the best way to write a great story.

However, it’s one thing to just say a script is better or worse than the end result, and another to explain why it is so. Thus, I’m going to get started on a series of posts where I discuss the evolution of the Conan screenplay: from the early days where Khalar Zym was Khalar Singh, Marique was Farique, Ukafa had gold teeth and Alina was still in the story, to the saga of the wounded elephant and Stygian Siege Beetles, on to the shooting script with the villains’ internal scheming and Conan actually showing some vulnerability. Hopefully then you will understand why as bad as I found the film, it’s still, by far, the one I’m happiest to see in the end product – and that even if the scripts I relate do sound better to you, you’ll understand why I came to that conclusion.

EDIT: Some have mentioned concern that this may become be another 20,000 word monster like my critique of the film. Believe me, spending anything more than the bare minimum on the Conan film is the furthest thing from my mind at this point! This will be nothing more than bullet points arranged into a few synopses. I’d be surprised if the word count for each script went into four figures. All my energy of late has been going back into all the projects I neglected: the book, the other blog, and other things not directly related to the film. So don’t worry, I won’t be subjecting you to another dissertation!

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 27th, 2011 at 3:21 pm and is filed under Conan General, Conan Movie Rumours. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  • Anonymous

    Sean puts himself out there, which is more than most Hollywood screen writers are willing to do. I suppose the movie industry is awash in screen writers, but the only one I know is Sean Hood!

    Having him drop by the forum and contribute was exciting and raised the status of the blog.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_M3GJEDW2O2AXHARTVNHYT7YN5Q Bill

    Yeah, Mr. Hood seems a real class act. It would have been interesting to see what he would’ve done with the script had circumstances been different.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Dilks/100002678287396 Steve Dilks

    Taranaich…NO! please I beseech thee no more…I beg thee. ….NOOOO!!! ACK-GCHH!!!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_KRCEUDT4CLVZUM46SJIE3VWMEU Sandy

    Will everyone please lighten up? Really, this is too much. It was a very enjoyable movie. “Stop trying to control everything and just let go! LET GO!” (Fight Club quote for the unenlightened)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Dilks/100002678287396 Steve Dilks

    I watched “The warriors” this afternoon with my girlfriend and I absolutely loved it! What an awesome primeval movie I thought to myself. And that guy Swan who takes command of the warriors, when the leader gets killed, that’s Conan! Right there- damn it! So do some googling,come across a website dedicated to the movie and- guess what? They are remakng it…. Bastards.

  • ColinJ

    I’m assuming after the first post Mr. Hood must have gotten a little phone call from his agent.

    But there’s no doubt that he (and the other previous writers) were having to serve every master on that film. And that is never a good situation, especially when it includes imbeciles like Marcus Nispel and Joe Drake.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joseph-Campanelli/782408508 Joseph Campanelli

    Maybe it’s the hopeless optimist in me, but I’m thinking that maybe, just maybe, they will release an extended version on DVD that will contain connecting scenes that will make the movie at least more coherent; a cut that will slow down the pace a little bit and allow the movie to breathe.

    Not that it would change the basic flaws, but at least make it more enjoyable to watch.

  • ColinJ

    That’s definitely a possibility. Especially since the only thing studios like more than remakes these days is ‘EXTENDED UNRATED CUT’ DVD releases, which are usually made without the director’s input or approval anyway.

    While I wouldn’t go expecting a miraculous KINGDOM OF HEAVEN-style revitalisation of the whole film I would hope, as you said, that the film would be better paced. Let it feel more like an epic than a two-hour R-rated episode of HERCULES.

    And for Crom’s sake, cut out that slave girl scene. Big T is right, that scene is repugnant.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ray-Cook/542919292 Ray Cook

    I’m sorry guys. This has been all my fault. If my acting skills amd screen presence were more appropriate…maybe I could have saved this movie. It’s obvious I sucked since all my scenes were cut……….LOL….NOT!

    Seriously….I apreciate Sean’s honesty and taking the time to talk to us. The blame definitely shouldn’t fall primarily on his shoulders. This was a colaborative effort that failed in so many different areas even though some parts of the movie I liked.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ray-Cook/542919292 Ray Cook

    I’m sorry guys. This has been all my fault. If my acting skills amd screen presence were more appropriate…maybe I could have saved this movie. It’s obvious I sucked since all my fight/dead scenes were cut……….LOL….NOT!

    Seriously….I apreciate Sean’s honesty and taking the time to talk to us. The blame definitely shouldn’t fall primarily on his shoulders. This was a colaborative effort that failed in so many different areas even though some parts of the movie I liked.

  • http://antmanx68.deviantart.com AntmanX

    Ray, I meant to ask you I’m pretty sure I saw you standing there in the front as Zym’s men were riding up to the village. You’re the only one w/o sleeves right?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_4PO4H3JBW5X4Z5VRNA3UQIB6TA Finn Thebarbarian

    I saw this movie this weekend and it failed on every imaginable level. The broad I was with was bored out of her mind and kept checking her phone to see how much longer the movie had.

    The movie has almost no story or character development and aims for extreme over the top shock value.

    There are lots of obvious errors, like suddenly switching from night to day, khalar zym putting his sword up to block before conan has even swung at him, etc.

    Bob Sapp has no lines at all.

    This movie rips off Lord of the Rings, Temple of Doom, both Conan movies, and a lot of other movies. Really badly. The only original ideas are shock value ploys like cutting off a nose.

    Conan is not Harriet Tubman. Of course that whole underground railroad on water storyline went undeveloped like everything else in the movie.

    The accents and pronunciation are horrible, from Momoa to McGowan and everyone inbetween. Even the French Arab guy started speaking in standard American for a little while. Most of the place names, like Acheron and Hyrkania, were pronounced wrong too. That’s what you get when you openly ignore the experts.

    The climax makes no sense. Conan can’t pick up a fucking 120 pound woman? Even Jason Momoa, whose arms, legs, and back are weaker than many (American) high school football players, could pick up a 120 pound woman. Conan of Cimmeria could lift 120 pounds like it was a sack of feathers. Yes, with one arm.

    Momoa bombed. Arnold gave his lines much better and english wasn’t even his language. Momoa gave off the aura of a lanky stoner mumbling and whispering half his lines (and trying to growl the other half). A lanky stoner wearing a dress. Was that eyeliner?

    The beginning of the movie CGI looks cheap as hell. A lot of the movie felt like I was watching a pirated version that somebody videotaped. Some of the audio is not synched up, like when Conan is chained up in the prison and the jailer is talking. I’ve never seen that in any movie before at the theater.

    I just read Taranaich’s review and he hit on a lot of the things I was going to say. I don’t hate it but it’s pretty god damn bad. Definitely worse than the Arnold movies, worse than or equal to Kull and Scorpion King. Worse than Solomon Kane. Better than Scorpion King 2. Way too shitty to inspire 30 years of new fans. Fuck everybody who was in charge of this movie. The only hope now is for Marvel to gain the rights to the character.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Dilks/100002678287396 Steve Dilks

    I would like to say that in this day and age (as opposed to 1982) a Conan movie should not be hard to do. The biggest problem producers had in ’82 was finding someone big enough to play him. Of course these days due to more sophisticated training regimes and dieting actors can build up to athletic proportions in a matter of months. Look at the cast of Spartacus for example. Too their training in the fight scenes and with weapons is focused on. I think Conan can still be done again-either with or without Momoa.
    Nor does a movie like this need a top list director. Yes it would be nice but lets face it itsa pipe dream. The guys who did “Underworld” (off the top of my head) could do a good Conan film. Even the guy who directed “Resident Evil” could do a better job than Nispel. These are the types of film makers who would love to cut their teeth on a project like this.

  • Marko Susimetsa

    It seems that the blog is a much busier place than the forums, so I’ll just promote my review here and try to turn people to the forum side of things:

    http://www.conanmovieblog.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=482

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesus-Abel-Mamolar-Caro/100000112926312 Jesus Abel Mamolar Caro

    greatest sadness that I have, I had high hopes for this film, as the two previous films starring Arnie, I disappointed a lot, since it is Conan, from my point of view.

    What we saw on August 19 in theaters, much worse, so difficult is to bring Conan to the big screen?
    Is not is great that all stories have enjoyed?
    Is that a movie can be a story as good as the people of the black circle and stop counting and the origin of the character, which only knows who left his village because he was bored and wanted to meet other realms?
    Why not adapt an original story once cursed and stop abusing Conan?
    To make movies and Conan is better left alone and let us enjoy his stories in book or comic.
    Charge of the last Lords Conan movie have had 28 years to make an amazing version of Conan the means that are available today and have not lived up to the character, have done much damage to Conan perhaps irreparable, they should ask apologies to all his followers.

    Thank you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Dilks/100002678287396 Steve Dilks

    I DO NOT WANT YOUR FORUM…

  • ColinJ

    Those directors you mentioned are horrendous choices.

    I have to say I was momentarily excited about this project when Neil Marshall’s name was briefly thrown around. granted, my enthusiasm them plummeted when the rumour was Rob Zombie was gonna stink it up.

    Still the movie is a dud. A complete misfire that will probably kill off REH adaptations for a decade.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Dilks/100002678287396 Steve Dilks

    Thats because the forum is rubbish

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Dilks/100002678287396 Steve Dilks

    Neil Marshall made “Centurion” right? That suffers the same faults as Conan did- only on a smaller scale. It was actually on par with “Pathfinder” when it comes to blandness. Ok granted the directors I mentioned might not be great, even good really, but what I am trying to get at is the point that Conan does not need to be “Braveheart” or “Gladiator” in terms of scale and budget. It just needs to be better shot than this fast cut, CGI enhanced thing going on with most films today. A more organic director could do great things.
    If you check out the Conan FX on the dreaded forum you will actually see the amount of useless CGI that went into this production. Just watch the bit where they use CGI to put in the arrows on the bows of the ‘Amazon chick’ archers. Why? Why the hell would you do that? Because the weapon props were bad and didn’t work thats why. Most of this film looks like they were actually filming the rehearsals and just added lots of other stuff in on computer afterward to make it look like the final product. This coming from the director who bare face lied when he said you could watch a rough cut of the movie without the effects and not even notice! Who also said it was not an effects movie!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ray-Cook/542919292 Ray Cook

    Correct. The scene only last a few seconds and I’m in the middle of the battlefield ;)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ray-Cook/542919292 Ray Cook

    Correct. The scene only last a few seconds and I’m in the middle of the battlefield ;)

  • Marko Susimetsa

    Forums make discussion a lot more ordered than random posts at end of blog posts…

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_TBMJFTOVQR4IJXYJXJXMO6KSME Mario Geraci

    great flick, you gotta check out the wanderers next. theyve said for years now the warriors was being remade,but nothing has ever come of it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Dilks/100002678287396 Steve Dilks

    I found the Gatekeeper and some of his cronies do not like some of my opinions and have taken it upon themselves in to attack me in the past on the blog and on the forum. Since I have never posted on the forum I found that unwarranted and cowardly to boot. The “Gatekeeper” tried flexing bullying tactic muscles on me for defending myself against one of his posters. He came across as little more than some of the disguised trollers you get here who try to inflame some sort of word war. Hence my mistrust of the fellow and the forum in general.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_4PO4H3JBW5X4Z5VRNA3UQIB6TA Finn Thebarbarian

    Right, it is like a beta version software release. Completely unpolished. When Remo (is that his name?) is riding off, you see Conan’s back and he is just standing around like a kid in a lunchline watching the old lady that scoops out the ranch dressing. I saw extras obviously just going through the motions. I can deal with a lot of the unfaithfulness to the source material but this movie feels like it was made in a third world sweatshop.

  • Anonymous

    Try to express these opinions on conan.com and you’ll be a persona non grata for life . Shows the double game played over there.
    Perhaps now the team working behind the forum woke up and would permit this kind of post, but I doubt it: Malmberg’s minions would order them to get rid of you.

    I sincerely hope the execs behind Conan2011 read your post and start realizing the treachery they pulled on the Conan fans whether they’re sound experts or simple comics fans, it was the dirtiest, nastiest, and greediest trick they could ever pull with the franchise.

    Straight to dvd, cheesy TV series casting and overall quality, amateurish CGI fx, tons and tons of tongue in cheek refs to Arnold films, wirefu ‘n slo-mo a la 300 and matrix, an empty story reprising Milius’ main theme, neutral and forgettable if not annoying OST.

    Everything was predicted MONTHS ago, even a year ago.
    When it smells that rotten you don’t need to be a NASA scientist to guess what’s fishy even though the rotten corpse would only rise up to sea level much later.

  • Anonymous

    When greedy bankers and their wannabe buddies from showbiz start making ‘artistic’ projects, it always results in a splattered mess.
    They rob opportunities from real artists with real talent, because the dough goes to ‘buddies’ .
    You really think they’ll apologize? They make money by ripping off and deceiving people.

  • Anonymous

    Who were these trolls, why did they insist so hardly upon bullying you at first then Foom and me lately, and why they weren’t punished remains a mystery .
    The communication dept of Lionsgate and or Millenium (I hope it’s not from Paradox) spent more energy starting flame wars on this blog and pissing off fans who shared realistic views than to make a good teaser , publishing memorable posters . More importantly they could have invested more personal energy into making a good movie to start with instead of counting on growing hype and buzz.

    Buzz at all costs, that’s all, Steve.

  • Anonymous

    Speaking only of relatively modern films, if we take the best elements of Valhalla Rising, The Eagle, Black Death and Ironclad, one could make a STUPENDOUS Conan movie, wouldn’t you agree?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1003722695 Grant Griffard

    I saw it. I was like. There’s that dude with the sunglasses from the extra photos!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joseph-Campanelli/782408508 Joseph Campanelli

    I laughed at that part of the climax in the theater. He had just picked up Marique with one arm and thrown her backwards like ten feet. Then he can’t lift Tamara while he’s fully braced, able to use his entire body to lift her. Just so bad.

  • Anonymous

    So you could have stopped Zym? ;)

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_4PO4H3JBW5X4Z5VRNA3UQIB6TA Finn Thebarbarian

    I only posted once on conan.com and was immediately banned. I never bothered to make a new account. Let them come to their own consensuses. Paradox owns that shit anyway.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_4PO4H3JBW5X4Z5VRNA3UQIB6TA Finn Thebarbarian

    Haha, yeah I laughed too. That was one of the worst and most implausible endings I have ever seen. Spiderman might struggle to lift a woman. Conan never would. It seems the director was surrounded by yes men. I guess nobody spoke up and said, “Hey, shitdick! Conan is strong as fuck! Change the god damn ending to something that makes sense!”

    You know there were only 5 other people in the whole theater with me? On saturday night? I’ve never been in a theater that empty. It’s almost gone from the theaters here.

    Thor is the complete opposite. Just about everything is right with Thor. Great fucking movie. Honestly the only hope for this character is if Marvel buys the rights or wins that lawsuit and obtains the rights. It’s doomed as long as Paradox owns it.

  • Marko Susimetsa

    I have to agree with you there. Every time I saw the archer chick in the movie, I had to groan at how inept her handling of the bow was and how she acted as if she was shooting an arrow, but all the motions and the way she held the bow were wrong.

    And most of the extras doing other things weren’t any better.

    A hasty movie made by an inept director. But somehow it still managed to make me forget the time while I was watching it… :/

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ray-Cook/542919292 Ray Cook

    I not only could have stopped Zym…I would have made him wish he was never born ;)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Dilks/100002678287396 Steve Dilks

    I found this making of Conan featurette on Texan beauty’s simplymomoa site;
    http://vimeo.com/28202817

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_4PO4H3JBW5X4Z5VRNA3UQIB6TA Finn Thebarbarian

    I sat through the Eagle and Black Death. I turned off Valhalla Rising and Ironclad after 5 minutes. I’d say Black Death was better than this Conan movie. Sean Bean carried that movie on his shoulders, which Momoa was unable to do with Conan. I don’t know what the budget was for Black Death but I imagine it was much much lower.

    Lionsgate used the Conan budget to buy a wheel of ass cheese instead of making a fucking movie.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Dilks/100002678287396 Steve Dilks

    I saw the film again last night-this time in 2D. First off I could follow the action more. I liked it more than similar films such as “Solomon Kane” / “Pathfinder” and “Outlander” but I found its terrible story lets it down-even more than the directing and editing. If this had been a low budget affair filmed on half the money I would have said it does the best it can. But you can’t justify spending 70-80 million dollars on what is on offer here. The movies I have cited above were by no means as expensive. Momoa does look good as Conan and you wish he had more of a chance to shine but due to the structure of the film he is not able too- except in fleeting moments.
    The horse and carriage chase is the best the movie has too offer. The sand mummy sequence is ok and Conan’s final duel with Zym is not as horrendous as I remembered. At least Momoa (while twirling around stylistically) does not bust some kung-fu moves on Lang’s ass. The best bit is where Conan grabs his fathers sword by the blade and wrenches it from Zym’s grasp-just to prove he’s hard. That’s pretty Conan and better than kneeing some fat turd in the nuts like he does to some poor sap in the city of thieves a little while earlier.
    So I actually enjoyed parts of it last night. More than I thought I would. The two guys I went with (not Conan fans) thought it was good. I warned them that I did not like it. They were pleasantly surprised and actually enjoyed it.
    There were only seven or eight of us in the theatre. All the kids were next door watching “The inbetweeners”- which was sold out.

  • Anonymous

    that’s it, just like the blade of the executioner, the mercyless punishment to profitability has fallen, here in my hometown, in france: 3 little weeks on screen and bye bye CONAN 3D

  • http://susimetsa.blogspot.com/ Marko Susimetsa

    Your experience kind of makes me wish I had watched it in 2D as well. Good to hear that you were able to enjoy some parts of the movie! :)

  • Anonymous

    It was not as bad as Outlander; cold comfort. :)

  • Anonymous

    Speaking of “splattered messes,” Foom continues to rant on with his inarticulate and senseless propaganda, as if someone actually gave a crap. Enough, Bumla. Your capacity for self-directed embarrassment boggles the mind.

  • Anonymous

    What a joke. Still trying to make us think that The RedPriest is not, in fact, Bumla Foom. Your ridiculous writing style is a dead give away, fool.

  • Anonymous

    No, we don’t agree. And speaking of Black Death, your non-stop drivel here is a constant reminder of what a plague you have brought to this blog.

  • Anonymous

    The only thing that smells rotten around here is Foom’s stinky excuse for writing and reasoning

  • Anonymous

    i’ll wait for the christmas blue ray release to re-watch it in 2D …no more conan film in theater here in france

  • http://www.facebook.com/izzyskidzz Izzy Skidzz

    Are there any links where we can read those original scripts?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_T5LNQCVHDTCMWJKMLKUUF3HC3Y tom

    I’ve just watched this and i would like to say that having watched the “Conan series” over and over my lifetime, I found this latest installment a worthy version, a new take on Conan without getting away from the original. Bring on the second tale in what should turn out to be a saga. Congrats to the screenwriter and all, do it again. For the love of all that is Conan the Barbarian

  • Anonymous

    You’re out of breath like amsterdamaged, not knowing what to say.
    You failed with Foom, now you try to start word games with me. Hint: the film is a flop and it’s OVER. End of the line, go home buddy.
    The best thing for you to do would be to keep a low profile after having told us that “Nispel would be king”.
    Don’t even think of replying to me by telling me what I should do in return, you’re so predictable.

    Who gave a crap regarding my posts and Foom’s ?
    A lot more than for you buddy.
    Just look on Derek77’s activity list and yours : no one was interested in replying to you apart from telling you a little something about the bad word games.

  • Anonymous

    Explain to me what you mean by “new take without getting away from the ORIGINAL”
    There’s no saga coming soon, you should know it by now, Lerner isn’t too enthusiatic about producing any ConantheDestroyerBis aka Conan2012

  • Anonymous

    How come you’re still here is beyond all reason.
    When I think the vast majority agrees the film was a steaming pile , you’re here still trying to piss me off.
    My friend Foom has a message for you: “tough buns”

  • Anonymous

    Everyone agrees except YOU. How’s that, genius?
    Don’t say “we don’t agree” , there’s no “we” you’re ALL ALONE in you sad little world , all alone with all that bull you told us about the film being the next major success at the boxoffice.
    Swap “Razzie awards” with “boxoffice” in your predictions and you’ll be spot on.

    You should be banned

  • Anonymous

    Out of breath? I’ve only just started, Foom. You sad, lonely burger fryer. I get it now – when you’re not busy taking orders at the drive-thru window you’re huddled at home keeping score on how many “replies” you get on the Conan movie blog? Wow, talk about a pathetic existence. You’re the poster child for mental instability. I wouldn’t be surprised if one day we’re reading about you on the front page of the newspaper –

    Headline: “Burger King Employee Arrested After Having Illicit Affair With Local Farmer’s Sheep.”

    The sad part is that there will be no one there to bail you out of jail, Foom. Oh, well, maybe Dilks. After all, the two of you just spent a romantic evening together at the theater. How were those gummy bears?

  • Anonymous

    Your paranoid theories are intriguing.
    You’re still trying to make us believe you don’t hear voices anymore.

  • Anonymous

    “Only started” ? It’s been ages you’ve been speaking like a broken record, saying you’ve only begun.
    What you claim to begin with is a long campaign to ruin the blog by talking of everything except the film.

    As a real troll you’ve proven numerous times to be, you are continuing to cite me, as you did with Foom, in your lame jokes and weird homosexual fantasies.

    If you have so many homosexual fantasies, get out of the closet and stop talking about it for ages attempting to project these same fantasies on fellow bloggers like me, Foom, Dilks and others.

    You should be banned

  • Anonymous

    What do you mean by “NEW take on Conan without getting away from the ORIGINAL” ?

    A saga? Lerner doesn’t seem very enthusiastic about spending an alleged 90million bucks on a second failure and Nipel will assuredly not be one to count on for a sequel if ever there is one in a few years.
    Or else, what could Nispel possibly do after rehashing the Milius version? Rehashing the last bits of Conan the Destroyer and Red Sonja that weren’t used for Conan20113D ?

    I guess many Conan fans are playing darts while sitting on the pot ,aiming at a photo of Marcus Nispel they printed out from the web.
    Bullseye if you get it right between the eyes, disqualified if you end up in that beard of his.

  • Anonymous

    Or better like admitting that the first Ator was better than Deathstalker IV.
    Or CTD better than Barbarians.

    Kortoso, you know who produced Barbarians, right? ;)

  • http://www.ageofconan.de Waldgeist

    Stop flaming please.

  • http://www.ageofconan.de Waldgeist

    No one “attacked” you, just criticized the way you communicated with people. There is a clear line between attacking someone, which is what is been going on between a couple of people here on the comments, and just disagreeing with the way people communicate.

  • Anonymous

    I’m still here,Foom, because I love you. Truly, I do. And the sooner you realize this, the better off you’ll be. I’m doing this for your own good. You will thank me later.

    C.C.

  • Anonymous

    The only thing that was predicted months ago was how sick we would all be with your incessant whining, Foom.

  • Anonymous

    I’m thinking if we took the best elements of all the posts you’ve written here over the past year we’d still end up end up with – nothing of any value. Wouldn’t you agree?

  • Anonymous

    and you make money by flipping burgers

  • Anonymous

    Let me guess, Bumla, was it YOU?

  • Anonymous

    Actually, I got a big poster of Bumla Foom on the wall wearing his Burger King apron and holding a spatula. I just hit him square between the eyes 5 minutes ago. It felt good.

  • http://www.ageofconan.de Waldgeist

    I actually really enjoyed Outlander for what it was. The only thing needed was to shut off the “historian” in me, then it started to become quite a well made and paced movie. It could’ve been a bit longer in places, but as Blackman noted, they were forced to cut it exactly to 120 minutes, no matter what.

  • Anonymous

    I thought you were the webmaster here.
    You pretty well know who’s making trouble making personal attacks and AVOIDING to talk of the film, it’s issues and the eventual explanations .
    I see you quickly banned my buddy foom but you left Derek77 and Branmickmorn in peace, while they’ve been doing nothing but personal attacks.
    Show me ONE SINGLE post where they discuss the movie, talk about the Conan character and compare him to the movie versions.
    I did talk about the film, the same way Foom did, but Branmickmorn and Derek77 (the same person) is here to SPOIL this blog and you know it very well: perhaps you want the blog to end up as it was before the disqus implement.

    A troll simply avoids being on topic and you didn’t wipe the trolls away. simple as that.

  • Anonymous

    You may have your history of disagreements with Dilksconcerning the moderation here, but simply taking a look at my activity board, I can count SIX personal attacks that are completely off topic, and you haven’t banned the responsible yet, you’ll even ban me instead perhaps for merely having mentioned it.

    Can’t this blog be a place where we speak of the MOVIE , it’s ACTORS and the PEOPLE WHO MADE IT and not a place where I would have to answer without end to personal attacks?

  • Anonymous

    Incessant whining? You’ve advertised like crazy before, then your goal was to get rid of all the realistic bloggers who wouldn’t praise the movie in advance.
    Now YOU are whining about bad reviews here and everywhere on the web and magazines,and you’re making personal attacks thinking that you’re protected perhaps, since Foom was banned.

    The moment Waldgeist tries to count how many offtopic posts you’ve written, he should see who’s the troll here.
    An open secret, everyone knows it’s “C.C.”, you in other words.

  • Anonymous

    How close to Howard do you think this late film was? Give me examples.
    How could you compare it to the Milius movie in terms of being closer to the source material?

    Of course, you’ll never answer these questions and you’ll reply with another personal attack.
    I’ve already posted a review with two friends on another site, but you’d never guess where, perhaps because your presence is not wanted anymore in many blogs, who knows. I’ll post a resumed version once you post YOUR review, bigmouth.

  • Anonymous

    Hey, Foom, here’s a thought: Why don’t you shut your yap for a once; go to movie-making school; and then come back here and show us all how it’s done?

  • Anonymous

    Bulma Foom cried: “A troll simply avoids being on topic and you didn’t wipe the trolls away. Simple as that.”

    My God, Foom, you are right! Forgive us for our trespasses!

  • http://www.ageofconan.de Waldgeist

    I banned you because you kept on insulting people. I also banned a couple of others and keep on deleting their comments. Of course I don’t instantly ban people, just because the stepped over a line once, but if they keep on doing it, besides being warned, they get the hammer, that’s how it works.

    Now stop playing the little childs game “nanana he started it” and stop behaving like one. Discuss on a topic level and not on a personal one. Not everyone that disagrees with you means you personal harm, or deserves a personal attack and insult.

  • Anonymous

    Waldgeist, you banned Bumla Foom for having said that Amsterdamaged’s false modesty was a product of not being honest and having bashed all those who foresaw why and how the Conan2011 movie would sink, calling them dumb Arnold followers altogether, as if he were a purist and the only one as well.
    Foom asked him to apologize , pehaps he shouldn’t have done that, since Amsterdamaged is your buddy from the conan forums and you all watch your backs.
    But Derek77 and now Branmickmorn ALL continue to attack personally , and it NONE o these posts concern the conan movie, what they liked or disliked, any opinion at all nor any comparison with the first movies and you tell me I’m doing the “nanana he started it first” game.

    I mean yo have trolls called Derek77 and Branmickmorn right in front of you, trolling, speaking of nothing concerning Conan or the movie (while I did, suffices to read my posts on this same thread) and all you have to say is Redpriest watch out or I’ll ban you like I did for Foom.
    No one interacts with Derek77 and Branmickmorn apart from me when I defend myself, they continue trolling,
    and you continue putting everything on Bumla Foom’s back and on mine as well.
    Hell, Dilks was harsh at times but he SPOKE OF THE MOVIE.
    where is your long rant posted on this thread against Branmickmorn ? You scold me and Dilks and treat my friend Foom as an “insulting” person.
    Don’t forget to ban me and erase my post to make it all look clean.

    The thing is that the film flopped, and we still have people advertising on the blog and attacking regular bloggers who have something to say and who interact with other bloggers.
    Derek77 and Branmickmorn DO NOT interact with bloggers apart from attempting to engage flame wars.

    Waldgeist, you say I write offtopic posts? How could you EVER say such a thing? Now we’re talking of moderation but I usually speak of the movie if not for TROLLS who insert themselves in the middle, spoiling everything with personal remarks.
    You INSULT me by stating I wrote OFFTOPIC posts normally.

  • Anonymous

    right on!

  • Anonymous

    branmickmorn:
    “right on”
    I don’t think so. Say hi and good riddance to Derek77.

    Waldgeist:
    I wanted to add, Waldgeist, that your attitude has changed oddly since the film received bad reviews. You seem to worry about negative word from mouth in relation to the box office bomb named Conan3D as if it supporting the domestic sales of the future bluray version (as well as tshirts, posters and other memorabilia) would put the most rumored sequel back on the tracks.

    Only you’re pretending not to notice some “bloggers” like this so called 64yo grandma who pretends she liked every bit of the movie, so much she had to post a rant here …or this Branmickmorn who spends his time calling me a retard or a fag because his latest sockpuppet was banned (Derek77) and he can’t sleep over it.

    Their goal is to either advertise like crazy or to badmouth other bloggers to get them in trouble. Speaking of trouble, Conan2011 put ITSELF in trouble and that is what people will remember, not Branmickmorn insulting people around here and attempting to bully me.

    To get back on topic, the film failed, let’s simply forget it and propose better ideas, not count on sales for a supposed (but probably false publicity) faithful and well done sequel. We can’t spend time beliveing execs who literally LIED through their teeth calling this mess a “reboot” when all it was in fact was a poorman’s remake of the 82 movie and sloppily directed on top of that.

    Do you really think that supporting the movie will help the Conan “brand” , (brand which is so much discussed now) , but also help to have the “promised” sequel and help Howard be read by more beginners?
    I don’t think so but I’m curious to know what you will have to say about supporting a film you didn’t even like just for the sake of believing some greedy execs who promised you ” a better product next time”. Didn’t you notice, it’s always “next time”, never “today”.

  • http://www.ageofconan.de Waldgeist

    I am legally obligated not to not support or support the film. So I don’t do anything. I just don’t want people behaving on the comments like asses towards each other. That’s all I am interested in.

  • Anonymous

    Bumla Foom – and we all know it’s Foom talking – wrote: “I wanted to add, Waldgeist, that your attitude has changed oddly since the film received bad reviews. You seem to worry about negative word from mouth in relation to the box office bomb named Conan3D as if it supporting the domestic sales of the future bluray version (as well as tshirts, posters and other memorabilia) would put the most rumored sequel back on the tracks.”

    Stick to discussing the movie, Foom, and stop the psychoanalysis of Waldgeist’s motives. This is just the kind of thing that tends to get you in hot water. Your assumptions are just that. Stop trying to act like the Sigmund Freud of the Conan Movie Blog.

  • Anonymous

    Foom wrote: “Only you’re pretending not to notice some “bloggers” like this so called 64 yo grandma who pretends she liked every bit of the movie, so much she had to post a rant here …or this Branmickmorn who spends his time calling me a retard or a fag because his latest sockpuppet was banned (Derek77) and he can’t sleep over it.

    How is it that Foom can write something as offensive as this and not be called on the carpet? He’s calling Waldgeiste “a pretender” and is now questioning the integrity of a senior citizen. Has he no shame?

  • Anonymous

    I am not bullying you, Bumla. I’m merely trying to show you the error of your ways in the kindest, most loving way possible. I would think you’d be a little more appreciative for crying out loud!

  • Anonymous

    Call 911 and tell them I said that Waldgeist ignored sockpuppets and that I’m suspicious about a so called old woman posting rants on a fan blog
    (probably another sockpuppet pseudo of a absolutist Nispel fan like you)…heeeeelp!!
    I’ll be sentenced to probably 20years, maybe life or the electric chair.

    Your little act of the indignated pompous character you’re pulling each time I say something on this blog is really tiresome.

  • Anonymous

    Your kindest most loving way possible included of course calling me a fake, a fool, an ignorant, a homosexual making out with other fellow bloggers in theaters while watching the Conan3D film and many other sweet names.

    I’m worried for your mental health, since you’re still calling me “Bumla Foom”

  • Anonymous

    Your kindest most loving way possible included of course calling me a fake, a fool, an ignorant, a homosexual making out with other fellow bloggers in theaters while watching the Conan3D film and many other sweet names.

    I’m worried for your mental health, since you’re still calling me “Bumla Foom”

  • http://www.ageofconan.de Waldgeist

    Removed a couple of comment. Guys.. please get a room or something. Your personal bitch fights have no place on this blog comments.

  • Anonymous

    This is not personal. This is a cosmic battle between good and evil – a battle of great consequences. We’re desperately trying to save Bumla Foom and ensure that he sides with good. His very soul hangs in the balance.

  • Anonymous

    Derek77 lives!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_4PO4H3JBW5X4Z5VRNA3UQIB6TA Finn Thebarbarian

    The movie has made 40 million so far. About 18 million in america and about 22 million internationally. It will be out of theaters after this weekend in america. It may get a decent amount more internationally due to delayed releases (but it won’t have a china release). I doubt it will make its budget back even after dvd sales.

    I’m gonna stop coming to this blog since the mission is over and the verdict is in. I’ll be back for the low budget sequel. Take care steve, ray, taranaich, bumla, and whoever else didn’t act like a queer.

    P.S. – Scott Wheeler, Rose McGowan was hit by the ugly stick.

  • http://susimetsa.blogspot.com/ Marko Susimetsa

    I think Tom is confusing “original” and that horrendous TV series that no Conan fan can even take a peek at. I’m sure the fans of that series will find the Conan movie a stunning piece of art, but for those who know something about the original character, all these filmed versions leave a lot to be desired (especially the series which I could only tolerate for a half of one episode).

  • http://susimetsa.blogspot.com/ Marko Susimetsa

    I think Tom is confusing “original” and that horrendous TV series that no Conan fan can even take a peek at. I’m sure the fans of that series will find the Conan movie a stunning piece of art, but for those who know something about the original character, all these filmed versions leave a lot to be desired (especially the series which I could only tolerate for a half of one episode).

  • http://susimetsa.blogspot.com/ Marko Susimetsa

    Films make more money on the DVD and Blu-Ray releases than they do during the theatre run, so I’m quite certain the budget will be earned back. The problem is, of course, that the producers will not deem it a success if the theatre run fails to bring in the winnings (even if they got to black in the longer run).

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Dilks/100002678287396 Steve Dilks

    Whats your problem?I was attacked verbally on the forum Waldgeist. Gatekeeper got involved over here on the blog and tried goading me in to some sort of flame war when I replied civilly to some comments I took umbrage to that were directed at me on the forum. Re-read the post on the forum “Some people on the conan movie blog…” and my subsequent reply.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Dilks/100002678287396 Steve Dilks

    Finn-An honour and a pleasure sword brother! I always enjoyed your comments and sword sharp humour. Keep the steel well honed and may our paths cross again someday.hai!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Dilks/100002678287396 Steve Dilks

    A thankless task by Crom.

  • Anonymous

    “Take care Steve, Ray, Taranaich, Bumla, and whoever else didn’t act like a queer.”

    Now there’s some sharp humor there!

  • Anonymous

    UKPA story filed 18 hours ago:

    Jason Momoa will not be writing the sequel to Conan The Barbarian.

    The 32-year-old actor, who plays the eponymous hero and who has already written and directed a series of short films, was rumoured to be penning the sequel, but he said: “A lot of people misquoted me. I’m not actually writing the script.”

    Although he does want a say in what happens in the follow-up.

    He said: “But I pretty much now know what I can extract from myself as an actor and what places we want Conan to go emotionally and physically so I have some really great ideas to put in a script.”

    Jason has his sights on completing a trilogy of films before leaving the barbarian behind.

    “As far as heroes go, Conan’s amazing. I wouldn’t want to do anyone else. I just want to finish off the series, and doing three of these could be great,” he added.

    The half-Hawaiian, half-Irish actor, who was only a child when the original 1982 film, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, was released, wants to make it clear this remake is entirely different.

    “It’s a total different style. I’m not here to impress the Arnold fans because you’ve had that and I don’t want to regurgitate a movie that was done 30 years ago,” he said.

    And he admitted to only watching the original after he finished filming the new 3D adventure, saying: “I just didn’t want there to be anything I might copy or use. I wanted my own fresh take on him.”

    NOTE the fifth and sixth paragraphs – after everything that’s happened with the movie so far, Mamoa actually believes there will be a trilogy of Conan films? He’s got his head buried in the sand even deeper than Bumla Foom!

  • Anonymous

    You clearly don’t know what you’re talking about and you often claim the opposite of what happened:

    my friend Bumla never had his head “in the sand”, he foresaw the epic failure inConan3D but you, Valerous, Derek77 and others who claimed the movie would be a great success and would bring the Conan franchise to the summit , all of you have buried your heads so deep in the sand you couldn’t take it out anymore and remained stuck in the ground.
    You’re lost in a dream that will never come true: Lerner and Nispel making a good Conan movie.
    Might as well believe in SantaClaus

  • Anonymous

    A message from old buddy Bumla Foom: Finn, you stood when others cowardly turned their back , you spoke with your heart instead of promoting an incompetent director .
    Gladly your latest posts weren’t censored and diehard Conan fans will understand what was really going on in this world of greedy filmmakers.

  • Anonymous

    Curious . . . the film’s been out two weeks now and still no review from the Great Bumla Foom. I believe he made a promise that he would post his full review of the movie right here on the Conan movie blog. No review yet, but he still goes on ad nauseam about how much he hates the director, producer, scripts, composer, yada, yada, yada. Lots of conspiracy theories, but we’ve yet to hear a single word of critique from the great critic himself.
    At least Amsterdamaged had the fortitude to post his review.
    Maybe that’s the reason Foom is now disguised as The RedPriest?

  • http://www.ageofconan.de Waldgeist

    I never deleted critical message, just because they were critical. There are thousands of critical messages on the comments. I moderated, when people started being personal, started insulting people of the production in a personal way.

    I know that some hold their freedom of speech flag high into the wind, without understanding, that freedom of speech only ever (and that is part of every core human rights law of every civilized country) goes as far as the personal rights of another human being.

    If you wanna criticize, please do so, but do not insult other people personally. It’s so drop dead simple. If one is not able to grasp this simple, basic rule, that is the core of every society, he will not have a place on this blog.

  • Anonymous

    The RedPriest – another card-carrying member of Finn’s queer-haters club. March on, brother!

  • Anonymous

    It is drop dead simple, but The RedPriest, a.ka. Bumla Foom, just can’t let go of his fantastic conspiracy theories – whether that’s thinking that I’m a spy planted here by the producers – or the moderator here – who Foom thinks is censoring posters. It’s all a little too much and for all the talk this guy is doing we’ve yet to see his personal review and thoughts on the movie.

  • Anonymous

    I never called you a retard or a fag. I merely suggested that you were mentally challenged and a little light on the feet.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_TBMJFTOVQR4IJXYJXJXMO6KSME Mario Geraci

    wait , there’s no santa? shit what am i gonna tell my kids?!!!!!

  • Anonymous

    Well, Mario, we can always dress Bumla Foom up in a red suit and white beard and send him to the neighborhood on Christmas Eve where he can entertain the kids. I hear he’s got a beer belly that would rival that of old St. Nick and I’m sure the kids would be fascinated by his stories of Conan movie blog spy games.

  • Anonymous

    Actually, I’m stuck in a nightmare surrounded by the relentless ravings of a lunatic a.k.a. Bumla Foom.

  • Anonymous

    After having written all these homosexual themed jokes Branmickmorn, you’re not in a position to call others homophobics.
    you’re the greatest “fag hater” this blog has ever seen.

  • Anonymous

    We’ve yet to see YOUR review first.

    Why are you calling me “Bumla Foom” ? Forget him, you’re dealing with me now.

  • Anonymous

    1) You don’t deserve Foom’s review, you worked day and night to get him kicked out of the blog, he’s out of the equation because Waldgeist is in your pocket and you dare ask for his review?
    And I should write one just because you asked for it?

    2)Foom, me and two friends of ours have already posted a review on the web, not here, tough buns for you to dig it up if you’re so eager to read it, it’s on a major film site : I will not receive orders from you and post a review , you don’t deserve it, once again, Branmickmorn. Simple as that.
    For having spoiled the blog, insulted bloggers and treated me like a POS.

    3)I’ll probably wait for the bluray to post a resume of our review for the other bloggers on conanmovieblog, in the meanwhile I’ll see you screaming and jumping up and down along with the other fanatical Nispelians until it’s released.

  • Anonymous

    So If I say Nispel ruined the Conan franchise , that he prevented thousands of young people to get interested in the original Conan by REH via a fresh cinmatographic reboot and instead shoved in everyone’s face a lousy Xena ripoff and a poor imitation of Conan the Barbarian 1982 , a SyFy quality show that has almost nothing in common with the original Conan or the comics adaptation, all of that because Nispel dreamt one day that he would become the new Milius in the public’s eye, then after having said this, I would not be respecting basic rules of our society?

  • Anonymous

    Tell them to watch out during Xmas time for Nispel who will be wearing a Santa costume as the true impostor he is.
    First he thought he was Milius and asked his friends to call him “John” and not Marcus, now he read our posts on this blog and asks himself if he won’t rip off kids and dress up as a second hand Santa.
    He could go with Ron Perlman, he kept his fake Santa beard from the movie.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Dilks/100002678287396 Steve Dilks

    The good news about all this is that at least Red Sonja won’t get made.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Dilks/100002678287396 Steve Dilks

    Well its a been a long and eventful journey-but alas it is a journey that has finally reached it’s end. I would like to thank Waldgeist for putting up this blog and keeping the flame going during some foreboding times. Taranaich deserves a big mention for his stella work and indepth posts. A hearty hail too all the sword brothers – Mario, Ray the Dead Barbarian, Finn, Fayric, Sean Hood, Matt Sullivan and all the other marauders too numerous to mention.
    Hail and Kill!!
    This ones for y’all-

    See you where the ravens fly.

  • Anonymous

    Finally got to see it today after being ridiculously busy the past few weeks. Well…

    I give it 2.5 stars out of 5.

    It was entertaining and had a lot great things going for it. The best aspects in my opinion were the cinematography, casting and performance, scenery, and some compelling action sequences.

    The thing that ruined film was the way the story was told. The story could have been OK if it was fleshed out and presented better, but it wasn’t. This made the character development mostly suck and the whole plot seem like a farce and generally a disaster. Maybe if there were some setup to Conan being born on the battlefield, than we would care more about the character. Maybe if we got to know the adult Conan before he’s introduced to us in the slave freeing scene (which was very un-Conan-like, except for the topless girls :) ), again, we would care more about the character. Maybe if Zhalar Kym was introduced with more attention into his motivations and character, we would care more, but this is all just thrown at us in the most abrupt and careless way. These are the main reasons for the lack of tension in this film, which simply keeps it from being a good movie.

    Through the middle of the film this becomes painfully obvious. A few interesting moments capture your interest again, but the final act seems mostly confused until the end where Conan saves Tamara and fights Khalar Zym which was pretty good. With these ups and downs throughout the film, it makes it feel uneven and lacking.

    I haven’t ready the script or shooting script, so it’s it hard to tell where to place the blame. If this film was close to the original script, than it never should have been approved to begin with. Did Nispel just hack a good script up and make it suck or did it just suck to begin with? Who knows? It’s hard not point to the script as the thing that killed this film. Whoever decided to make the character development suck and make this mask of Acheron plot such a farce is to blame. The script writing, directing, and editing all could have contributed to the story coming off so thin and weak.

    I liked most of the action scenes that others have mentioned like the horse chase scene and the sand warriors scene. I really liked the fight scene between Conan and Bob Sapp. That was just a brawny brawl of awesomeness!

    The cast was great in my opinion and I almost felt bad for them to put in such great performances on such a crappy story. We’ll see if an extended Blu-Ray can save it.

    The music was OK. A few pieces were pretty nice. I’ll probably buy the soundtrack, but it’s nothing to get too excited about.

    Oh well, for me this ranks slightly below Conan the Destroyer, maybe slightly better than Red Sonja. It still nice to see a Conan movie on the big screen. I’m guessing the producers tried to please everyone: Conan the Barbarian fans, REH fans, Dark Horse and Marvel fans, general fantasy fans, but they ended up pleasing no one.

    Back to the drawing board with some better results hopefully sooner than later….

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_TBMJFTOVQR4IJXYJXJXMO6KSME Mario Geraci

    lmao!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_TBMJFTOVQR4IJXYJXJXMO6KSME Mario Geraci

    ah, you know i hate to say it, but after we get a blu ray dvd release date story i think its high time to shut this blog down. its gotten beyond ridiculous here.but a raise of my glass to all of you I havent posted seriously in some time here but it’s high time i bid those here farewell.and to matt sullivan , look me up on fb mr sullivan youre alright in my book. have a good time guys and continue to read and enjoy REH and Conan!!!! cheers!

  • Anonymous

    Adios amigo! A true gentleman if ever there was one. I’ll be lifting my glass to salute you, sir, even while I pummel Bumla Foom into submission. Fare thee well, Mario!

  • Anonymous

    And so the Great Stevie Dilks rides off into the sunset! We knew this day would come, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I know there were some harsh words between us, Dilks, but I hope that won’t taint your memories of me. I know it won’t mine.
    I would like to think that deep down you might have actually liked me, maybe felt the urge to take my hand, look into my eyes and whisper “I love you, Charles.”
    But alas, it is but a dream – a dream I will cherish in my heart for eternity.
    Take care my beloved Steve. And rest assured, I will take good care of Bumla. He needs me now. More than ever.

    C.C.

  • http://susimetsa.blogspot.com/ Marko Susimetsa

    Why is it so hard for you to be polite? Something gnawing at your foot while you write?

  • Dave Houston

    is it just me that thought the end was cut crap, rough and patched like a spanish quilt? Conan holding a girl the weight of a bag of spuds could not lift her up?! The silly looking armour on Kalar that was ill fitting and stupid. the silly caverns that were lit well in blue colour, but the flames of the rivers of fire were red! It was just as bad as CTD but Momoa was good as Conan.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, right, we’re dealing with the same clown we’ve always dealt with – Bumla Foom – and still no review.
    Seriously, Foom, you’ve gone on here forever about a film YOU STILL HAVEN’T SEEN YET. Amazing!

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, but what about the movie, Foom? What are your thoughts? Have you even seen it yet?

  • Anonymous

    A cop out if ever there was one. The Great Bumla Foom pronounced to the world on this very site a few weeks back that he would post HIS review of the movie – but as of today, nothing. Now he says he’s posted it on some mystery web site that he fails to disclose and that he wrote it with “two friends?” His latest announcement is that he will let us know what he thinks of the movie once the DVD comes out.
    Okay, I guess.
    I’m thinking that Foom, a.k.a The RedPriest, saw the movie and actually liked it, but is afraid to say as much. It’s the only plausible explanation. I mean if he spent all this time raking the film over the coals before it even opened, why wouldn’t he really tear into it in a proper review?
    But then he has the nerve to attack people like Amsterdamaged who DID write a review partially favorable?
    Finally, when you point all of this out to him, he goes on the defensive and calls you a movie producer spy.
    It boggles our minds.

  • Anonymous

    Stop insulting Waldgeist, Foom. He banned you, yet you continue to shove you insulting posts down our throats under the new guise of The RedPriest. Enough already.

  • Anonymous

    My only dream is that one day you will review the movie and share it with us just like you told us you would do. Seriously, Foom, what did you think of Conan the Barbarian 3D????

  • Anonymous

    Hey, boy, it wasn’t me on here three weeks ago telling the world I would be writing a review. That was you. And we’re all still waiting. Where it it Foom? Why haven’t you shared it with us yet? C’mon, we’re dying to read what the Great Bumla Foom actually thinks of the movie not what he thinks he thinks of the movie.

  • Anonymous

    Ha! Good one, Marko!

  • Anonymous

    Good luck and God’s speed, young Dilks. I know there were some harsh words between us over the past few months, but I’m hoping that deep in your heart you will find forgiveness. I do regret the comment about your neighbor’s sheep.
    I hope that I was able to make you smile at least a few times. After all, we can’t take this too seriously now, can we?
    And may I be allowed to say: You, sir, are a Goddamn handsome man.
    Fare thee well, Stevie!

  • Anonymous

    Adios Amigo! You, sir, were a true gentleman. I will miss your presence here on the blog. The next time I’m in the good hamlet of Levittown I’ll make sure to look you up. Perhaps me you and Foom will get a chance to enjoy a pizza pie together after all! Farewell, Mario, my love!

  • Anonymous

    Where’s your review, boy?

  • Anonymous

    Excuses, excuses, excuses. What are you afraid of, Foom?

  • Anonymous

    Live well, Dilks.

  • Anonymous

    Mario, I will. Anyone that quotes The Destroyer and still has good things to say about that very poor, yet very enjoyable film, can be my FB friend any day.

  • Anonymous

    As Arnold would say: “NNNNYYYAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!”

  • Anonymous

    Turns out there are a few Mario Geraci’s on fb and since you don’t have Conan in your profile pic, I don’t know which one is you. You can add me, if you like. I’m simply Matt John. There will be a pic of me (longish hair) and a blonde dame.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_TBMJFTOVQR4IJXYJXJXMO6KSME Mario Geraci

    will do pal.

  • Anonymous

    You’d call any of my arguments “excuses”, because you’re incapable to deal with them, as opposed to your stalking campaign which didn’t contain a single valid argument.
    You don’t deserve a review, live over it and start using google to find out where our review is, final word.

    The blog is dead, everyone’s leaving, Taranaich admitted himself he’d post only if there is a major announcement from the execs such as a bluray release or concerning the fate of the -apparently- already aborted sequel.

    If you haven’t noticed, apart from Mario who seemed to be amused by your silly games, no one ever replies to you, as opposed to me, a real fan, for the simple reason that you’re not here to discuss but to stalk me and any other who fought actively against this Conan3D project which emitted noxious putrid gas since the beginning.

  • Anonymous

    To say it sucked would be too nice, I feel like if I ever met any exec in the street, I’d throw him in the lake for taking all of us Conan fans for a bunch of idiots.

  • Anonymous

    the gnawing insect you mention just replied to you under the pseudo branmickmorn.
    If you have any advice as to how to get rid of it, I’d be thankful.

  • Anonymous

    stop trolling

  • Anonymous

    Are you blind? WHERE’s YOURS, CHARLES? Post yours and I’ll post a a quick resume of mine. But you’ll never post any review of any kind, you’re here to stalk me, nothing else.

  • Anonymous

    If that is your “only dream” , then your world is a most small and sad one.

  • Anonymous

    Yes, answer for Waldgeist and continue to lick like crazy.
    If you disagree with Foom, speak to him directly, but fresh news: he’s been kicked by your new friend Waldgeist a few days ago.

  • Anonymous

    I think tom meant by “Conan series” not the actual TV series, but the bundle comprising Conan the Barbarian, Conan the Destroyer and eventually Red Sonja for some.
    But I agree with your view that any fan of the Moeller show may like the new movie, it’s roughly in the same league except for the bigger budget and overabundant fx.

  • Anonymous

    “throw him in a lake ?” i would burn him to the stake, by crom !!

  • Anonymous

    But that’s where you’re wrong, Foom. We’re not here for anyone else, but YOU. We told you that in the beginning, but you failed to comprehend what was at stake. After all these months, you still don’t get it. We’re here to save you, Bumla. We love you and we want to protect you, yet you refuse our help. If you are so irritated by our efforts to reform you and save your soul, why are you still here? Why not pull a Dilks and ride off into the sunset? I can only assume that the answer is: You need us, Foom. I think you know deep down in your heart that you love us. And some day you will admit as much.

  • Anonymous

    there is no “we” as Foom told you hundreds of times.
    You’re all alone, a little stalker folowing every reply I post.
    and what you told Foom is irrelevant, as much as telling me to “pull a Dilks” .
    You ar going to “save” Foom? He’s gone.
    Save me? You’re absurd and moreover you are a still clinging to your paranoid conspiracies .

    Go insult other people on other blogs, you’re a lame loser.

  • Anonymous

    You can say this, Flanker,and I fully agree with your proposition…
    but if I open my mouth and tell the truth, that I’d wish to meet a few execs from Conan3D in the street and beat the living crap out of them, Waldgeist would surely kick me out as he did for Foom.

  • Anonymous

    This isn’t a game, Foom. This is serious business. We’re not here to stalk you, but to save your very soul from damnation.

  • Anonymous

    The blog is dead and everyone’s leaving because of your incessant whining and constantly beating us over the head with your mad conspiracy theories. Get a grip for once, Foom. You’re the only one talking now and no one cares.
    It’s all over now, baby blue.

  • http://twitter.com/CarolinaCharles Charles Griffin

    Well, I actually enjoyed the movie. I do admit a better one can be made. I hope, despite the box office disappointment, there is a sequel with a better script. But I don’t get the hatred for this one. Sure the purists weren’t going to be satisfied; add that to the huge number of critics who hate sword and sorcery films anyway and the reviews were never going to be pretty. But this film and Momoa especially reminded me of the Conan comics I read as a kid, if perhaps on a superficial level. I had fun.

  • Anonymous

    Don’t speak too loudly, Chuck, lest you evoke the wrath of Foom! Old Bumla doesn’t look kindly on those brave enough to admit they found some redeeming value in the film. You’re right, though – a better one can be made and hopefully, some day, that will come to pass. And maybe – if we’re lucky – The RedPriest himself will produce, direct, write the script and compose the music for it. Hell, we’ll let him handle the marketing as well. He knows it all!

  • Anonymous

    I have a whole pile of old Marvel as well as the new Dark Horse Conan comics, and concerning me, the similarities between the movie Conan3d and those same comicbooks were resumed to only young Conan resembling Ruth’s depiction … but only graphically. The comics young Conan never did kungfu kicks.
    That is extremely “superficial” !

  • Anonymous

    Everyone is gone BECAUSE THE FILM WAS RELEASED WEEKS AGO AND TURNED OUT TO BE A MONUMENTAL FLOP.

    It’s all over for you, you LOST, Charles, you predicted a great success while advertising like crazy, beyond reasonable, insulting bloggers without end.
    Now you’re left all alone with your false publicity and a failure to deal with.
    Deal with it, and good riddance!

    edit: mad conspiracies, like you being a plant for repeating like a parrot “Nispel will be king” 10 times in a row, or repeating 100s of times incoherent claims such as the script being excellent, the cats excellent, the composer excellent…get a grip branmickmorn people will only feel a great rage thinking of plants like you who lied through their teeth to promote the movie.

  • Anonymous

    Not nearly as superficial as your posts, Foom. The jig’s up. Game over. Time to move on. Take a cue from Dilks and rid us of your stupidity.

  • Anonymous

    WHEN A CIMMERIAN FEELS THIRST IT IS THE THIRST FOR BLOOD ,
    I WILL TEAR APART THE MOUNTAINS TO FIND YOU , I WILL FOLLOW YOU TO HELL! , GO CONAN SLAY THEM ALL!!!!

  • Anonymous

    I HAVE A CLAIM FOR YOU , WHAT CLAIM?
    DEATH! , pure barbarian

  • Anonymous

    How’s that movie review coming, Foom? Have you broken your promise?

  • Anonymous

    My dearest Bumla Foom, a.k.a TheRedPriest:

    Please be advised that our time here has, sadly, come to an end. So, too, has our mission to save your mortal soul. You were a hard nut to crack and we are saddened that we have failed in our duty to get you to “see the light” as it were. But our time is up here and we move on knowing that we did our best. Fare thee well, Foom, and may God have mercy on your soul. While we admit that you were, at times, a worth adversary, we still think we had the upper hand in our little war of words. In the coming months I will think back on our special time together and hope you do the same. Perhaps we will meet again out there in that wide expanse known as the Blog Universe and find ourselves crossing swords once again.

    Until then, God speed, my brother.

    Yours,
    Cosmic Charles & Co.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t care who’s blaming who. It’s all the same. Everybody in Lionsgate, Millenium, Nu film and Paradox screwed it all up. It’s like a chain reaction. And do you know why? None of them read the real source material – Robert E. Howard’s books.

  • Anonymous

    oh shut up val, you’re ridiculous, dude

  • Anonymous

    yeah, young conan prefers breacking wild cimmerian bull’s neck, slashing wolf’s throat with his teeth and raiding on venarium outpost, hahahaha !

  • Anonymous

    A FEAST FOR MY SWORD… ( NO!!!! A FEAST FOR THE DWELLER!!! GYAAAHHH!!! )

  • Anonymous

    Nice! You must be a graduate of the Bumla Foom School of Blog Post Writing!

  • Anonymous

    yes , I apologize, I should not be that rude with a 9 years old kid, excuse me kid val, but try to read some REH original stories , so you’d be able to talk like a real cimmerian , boy

  • Anonymous

    BY CROM I AM NO BOY BUT A MAN ! A MAN WHO APPRECIATES THE BARBARIAN , Begone from here , u hate because u know not love for i live i love and slay and i am content :) now leave this blog and continue your journey home into the lands of cowardice vermin.

  • Anonymous

    pathetic…

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